Sunday, December 30, 2007
Waiting for the Gift of Sound and Vision
Friday, December 28, 2007
Jumper
Further update: I indicated to author Steven Gould my appropriation of this name for online purposes. He gave me an okay up on its continued use by me. I think I first used it on an old Sudoku forum, where I have used it Or was it first used on the New Kind of Science (Wolfram) forum? Not sure. My old posts have vanished.
Friday, November 16, 2007
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Haiku
Inevitable.
Offshore drilling rig
Nun rides bicycle
"Holy shit, Batman!"
Symmetry is fun
What the hell happened?
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
I Was a UFO Hoaxter
Since '86 I've been looking for the pre-packaged box kites I was most impressed with as a kid; surely imported from Taiwan those days, with tremendous lift and stability and unique in that they have no obvious"wings" but the paper panels forming part of the sides of the rectangular box. I haven't seen them in years, and I keep putting off making my own. But a good tested delta kite will be all right.
I experimented with nylon monofilament for fishing, 5- and 10-pound-test line, but settled for the reliable 15 or 20. I bought about 15 rolls of 400-yard line as my hobby progressed.
I remember one sunny, breezy afternoon tying a few successive spools together as I played out my kite to a height of about 1,200 yards or about 2/3 of a mile out. A pair of brown eagles came from over the horizon once I got up to about 600 feet; I guess they were checking out to see if they had some local competition. Cautious that they might actually attack, or at least tumble my kite, I quickly played out about 400 more feet of line and outclimbed them. A small Piper from the local airstrip came by to check things out.
I toyed around with it in those days. I would try to see how high I needed to fly it to make it disappear completely. I got self-conscious, once, because I knew I looked odd, out in a field holding an invisible string attached to nothing that could be seen. And flying an invisible kite loses it's fun, even if I was breaking my own altitude records in the process.
I didn't have any fancy reels, just a homemade large can I wrapped and let out simply. It took forever to reel that kite back down from 2000 feet. I remember the first time getting impatient, and then I realized I was having such a cool time, I didn't care if it took a while to reel in and go home. I learned patience.
One night I drove through some backstreets to a field that abutted a main road, though you couldn't get into the field there. It was dusk; I parked my car behind some weeds, and by the time I got my kite up in the air it was dark out. I don't think the moon was visible.
I played out about 1,000 feet of line, got out a little tiny cheap flashlight I'd bought in the grocery checkout lane, and taped it onto the string with some duct tape. It made the line sag somewhat, but as it rose up the kite caught a higher lift far above, and pulled that little light straight up another 600 feet.
It looked very cool. The kite was completely out of sight in the dark heights, but the light quickly became a point, a pixie of light unlike any usual thing seen in the night sky. It was no bird, plane, swampgas, helicopter, star, or balloon. Just a slightly jittery, shimmering little light in the sky.
I didn't know the building far across the field and across the road was a church until the service ended, and people started coming out of the front door of the church, chatting with each other, heading for their cars in the parking lot beside the building. One person saw it, then a few more started pointing up at it in the sky, and talking. I was too far away, about 250 yards to make out any words, behind some weeds, leaning on my car in the total darkness, and I was being quiet. Their voices sounded really alive, kind of loud, but that wasn't it, it was a tone of curiosity, a murmur of unafraid excitement and interest... mystery.
It's interesting to me how about half the people there took one look at it and didn't linger at all; they walked straight to their cars and drove away, almost nervously it seemed to me. The other half of the people stood out there, pointing up at the little light, talking to each other for over 20 minutes, slowly drifting to their cars before the last two couples stayed a few more minutes, watching and talking quietly. The other couple started to their car, the man calling over his shoulder to his friend, "Well, I hope you figure it out!" and the last holdout looked back up into the sky, but his wife grabbed his arm and I barely heard her say to her husband, "Come on, honey, let's GO."
Squeezed
So let's look at the cost to manufacture this. Commercial (industrial) pasta dies, the pieces made to force the dough through, have evolved. They used to be made of copper, by hand; then bronze. Higher speeds, greater forces. Hundreds of pounds of pressure, forcing that stuff out at greater and greater speeds. The factories got more efficient. Hardened steel dies, finally. There's a whole science of manufacturing the dies for pasta-making plants. So I assumed the weirder pasta pieces had more complex and expensive parts to make them. That might be reasonable.
Except for the weird anomaly of elbow macaroni. This stuff is twice as complicated as spaghetti, at least. It's hollow, for one thing, making the extrusion significantly more complicated. And they have to make sure it has that 90 degree bend in it, the "elbow." Not so simple, really. Surely a simple rotini is less expensive to make.
But note this: elbow macaroni has a lousy "mouth feel" to it. It's not that great. No sauce or cheese really goes far into those thin tubes, it's no better or worse than spaghetti, and like regular spaghetti, inferior even to"thin spaghetti" and noticeably less rewarding to eat than "angel hair,"which although requires smaller dies, is really pretty damned simple even in a cost-conscious factory.
The reason regular spaghetti and elbow macaroni are least expensive is not because they are cheaper to produce, it's because they aren't that great.And I'm pretty sure they COULD sell me rotini at the SAME LOW PRICE, they just WON'T. Those bastards.
Saturday, October 20, 2007
A Year Without Cheese
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Stupid is as Stupid Does
I would like to take this opportunity to comment on a common tactic employed by many, such as TV's Columbo, but more often used by a certain sort of unregenerate Son of the South. I'm talking about the tactic of deliberately appearing to be stupider than one is. This is often a reflexive habit, honed into such persistent usage it becomes almost unconscous in its employ. I assume the prime role model in this behavior is Andy Griffith. In this fictional display, Andy appears to be a hick, and beguiles the bad guys into letting slip some critical piece of intelligence, thinking he won't pick up on it. But he does! This is because Andy is sly.
I believe the practitioners of this habit, even though they believe they are emulating a smart fellow, have practiced this routine so much that they are in danger of actually becoming the thing they think they are pretending to be. Like your Mama said, if you keep making that face it'll get stuck that way.
Besides, I asked myself a while back, how smart do you have to be, and how smart is it, to constantly make people think you are an idiot, anyway?
Saturday, September 1, 2007
Juicy Job
Friday, August 17, 2007
Simpsonized
Incredible!
Saturday, August 11, 2007
Flag This Post
Saturday, August 4, 2007
Bando's Curse
He appeared to be taking the longest time to pick up the rudiments of our profession. He seemed off in some dreamworld and I was constantly nervous that he wasn't understanding the instructions new employees routinely receive.
I finally determined to just give Bando an assignment and qualify him on that basis. To my amazement, he performed perfectly on a series of machines in our testing lab, recorded his results satisfactorily, and correctly noted a slight mis-calibration of one of our testing standards. He had turned into a first-class technician, in my view, overnight.
Here, then, after an interesting interview with the man, I formulated in my mind Bando's curse, which was in my view both a strength and a weakness: he could not learn anything without learning the whole of that field of knowledge. And he did. Bando had, on his own, spent countless hours at the local libraries, public and at the University, and mastered our entire field. He told me he could literally not feel any understanding at all of any subject until he had read deeply on the subject, and he had achieved an overall picture, as he put it.
That talent led him to be a valuable employee. I feel I have rewarded him, too.
Bando's curse was when he applied his brain to human beings. He seemed to be spending his entire life, or at least that part of it concerned with interacting with his fellow human beings, wandering around in the same fog I had seen exhibited the first few days when he came to work for me. He could literally make no headway in dealing with people because he needed to master all the knowledge about the human race before he could confidently act. In other words, Bando would need his entire life, if not a thousand lives, to master the "background material" of his investigation.
And so he was stuck. Constantly distracted by his own sense of incomplete knowledge, he appeared stupid or eccentric to most people I saw him interact with while he was here.
Monday, July 30, 2007
Judgment Day
So I ran out of my stuff, and I just said instead, "get out of my way, you damn crackhead," while I'm walking and makin' eye contact with him like I know I have to, and he bows up and sputters, "who the hell are you to judge me, man?"
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So, fatigued in a way I've never been before, I'm in the grocery line and when it comes time to pay I start fumbling with my money or my checkbook, and I'm aware that I'm acting like a doddering moron. And the guy behind me is getting impatient, and so is the woman behind him, and I can identifywith them cause I've been exactly in their shoes. I just can't seem to get it together, and fumble and mess up for what seems like the longest moments until finally I get the cashier paid off, and stumble off, too tired even to feel embarassed, but feeling the stares against my back and hearing the mumbled "dumbass jerk" and some other pissed off murmur from the woman.
Finally my cousin-in-law Ashley lowers the hammer on my nephew. "Why don'tyou just shut up, Jason, what you don't seem to realize is that some people have problems YOU JUST DON'T KNOW ABOUT!" And every adult in the room turned and looked at him and said, "That's right, Jason!"
---------------------------------------------------------
Not to be slowed down, I told the crackhead, "Hell yes I'm judging you, man,but I sure as hell don't expect you or anyone else to take my judgment seriously. Hell, I don't even take my OWN judgments seriously!" That left him with his mouth hanging open, just as I hoped, and I stepped around him and kept on with my paper route and finished by 6:00.
Sunday, July 29, 2007
Saturday, July 28, 2007
IN THE FUTURE...
Each package will take approximately 10 seconds to open if several packages are laid out beforehand and assembly-line techniques used by the consumer in a food preparation area. Each unit of packaging will weigh 44.5% of the total purchased weight. Each packaged bite of purchased food will be enclosed in a single bag before leaving the grocery store. Each bag will be of gossamer thickness and will often split open in the parking lot, spilling the mouthfuls of purchased food paks on the pavement. The gossamer final bags will be difficult to open and only experienced grocery employees will be able to handle them. Each of the numerous bags will be looped on the consumer's separate fingers for transport to the parking lot.
Saturday, July 21, 2007
Plan B
One day a hornet got in. A big fat hornet that lived in an archetypal gray glob-sphere hanging from a nearby tree. An angry armored high-speed danger-pellet from Hell.
Knowing I was underarmed I nevertheless gave him a hearty swak with the badminton racket and he was propelled into the wall at a speed that would terminally cripple any of his weaker cousins but which served only to enrage this particular insect demon. With an audible smack he hit the wall, rebounded, and he came right at me making twice as loud the ominous low thrum as he had before. I fled the room.
Down the hall I saw my grandfather's ceremonial cavalry sword, and I wrested it from the wall where I displayed it, snatched the blade out of its sheath, and returned to the living room ready to do battle. Just in time. The hornet had just passed the doorway as I entered, and as he swung back to attack me, I was able to set up the swing like a baseball pitch coming towards me, and I swung the sword and cut that mother clean in two.
Sunday, July 15, 2007
The Awful Transmogrification of Luther Gunther
It is curious that the night it started, I had awakened in the middle of the darkest hours for no reason I can readily discern. A sheen of sweat was on my forehead, my sheets damp, although the night was cool and the window open. My dog chose that moment to howl forlornly in the yard. It was a new moon, giving no dim light through the window, and I got out of bed and wandered to the kitchen in search of a soporific cookie and a glass of milk.
Refreshed and not yet ready to return to my bed, I wandered into my office and saw the red light on my answering machine blinking. I activated my computer by nudging the mouse and as the screen lit enough to give me some light, I noticed the time was 4:14 as I punched my answering machine. It was Luther.
For some reason his voice was hushed on the thin tape, unlike him. "You've got to know about this, man," he murmured. "I've found it... the Grail." I distinctly heard a hiccup. "The wassabe margarita, man... it works." I heard a weird whine in the background, something odd and out of place. An eldrich, keening wind. I felt a coldness in my room, and a shiver passed through me as I sat in the dark room. "I'm going to drink the whole thing," his voice on the machine whispered, "right now."
I heard him breathing, an uneven gasping for air not like him, and I heard him unmistakably drinking something in audible gulps. Now Luther himself had begun making a noise into my answering machine I cannot describe. A whimpering vocal whine of something like pain, yet in it was also an exaltation, a strangely triumphant squeal of... completion.
And then a dial tone, and the tape stopped, and then began to rewind.
Inside we found no one. There was a strange smell in the apartment, like coffee kept hot far too long, or ozone, or a feverish sickroom for cats. A wrong smell. Luther was gone. On his kitchen counter was the recipe, written on a scrap of notebook paper, next to the now-empty blender containing mere drops of the potion which had led to his uncanny transmogrification and preternatural removal from our universe.
I include it here merely as a precaution. Do not do this, I implore you. The unholy recipe included a large amount of wassabi, and horseradish as well as strong Chinese mustard, in combination with a quite large amount of simple citrus ice, and he had blended the icy, frozen concoction such that he experienced brain-freeze at the exact moment the wassabe / horseradish had put Chinese fire into his sinuses!
It's no wonder he is gone. He has left this world, and I am convinced he succeeded in his Faustian quest, and that his atoms dissolved and joined the Microsphere and the Macrosphere in the same fearsome instant. And sometimes I wonder what might I experience if I were to pursue the dangerous course he did: The instant of brain-freeze, as from a margarita or slushee, at the exact moment the Chinese nasal-fire commenced, sent him to his doom, from our view, yet what about from his?????
Banned
Protologisms
I stumbled on this corner of Wiktionary (and stumbling on odd corners of Wiktionary, and Wikipedia, too, is often a useful way to understand the sites), for my first time. A suprprisingly high percentage of these are either hilarious, very clever, and erudite.
"The term "protologism" is considered a neologism based on standardizedWiktionary criteria."Neologisms are newly acknowledged terms. They typically have not been incirculation long enough or widely enough for their social status to bedetermined. Neologisms can be nonces, slang terms, or even illiteracies."The citation of "protologism" may be restricted to certain other contextsthat have not been fully investigated, such as industry jargon or regionaluse. The term may not generally be understood even within those contexts." -Wiktionary
http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/Wiktionary:List_of_protologisms
I found serious proposals for new words here, such as
sphone: noun [Garrett Jones] - A shape formed by spinning a cone intotetraspace, around its symmetry axis. Can also be formed by connected allthe points on the surface of a sphere to a point some distance away from thesphere in tetraspace, with the point being upsilon or delta from the centerof the sphere. It is the analog of the cone in realmspace. (sphone = sphere+ cone).
And some very good ones:
thanatolotry: Worship of death, a trait attributable to suicide bombers and devil worshippers.
One can sort it all out by topic, too. In searching by topic, I found allsorts of true gems:
http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/Wiktionary:List_of_protologisms_by_topic#Overuse_terms
faux-mo: When a generation lacking any clear, unique identity attempts (in inconsistant, questionably sincere and argueably futile ways) to label and define itself and/or it's cultural elements. This is generally characterized by a sort of quiet desperation, thinly veiled hostility and confusion.
Some people think oddly:
Thursdaily: Every Thursday
Sideslappers
lockblocker: A person who prevents the unlocking of a his or her cardoor by pulling the door handle at the same time the driver presses theunlock buttona.
lesbosexual: n. [Note: Coined by Mark Simpson in Sex Terror: EroticMisadventures in Pop Culture (Harrington Park Press, 2002).] A non-stylishgay man.
I coined the next one long ago. Now it has a home.
masochismo: n. [Masochism + Machismo] The idea that ones masculinity is tied to the capacity to endure self-inflicted pain.
Humpy's Children
Saturday, July 14, 2007
Saturday, July 7, 2007
Annoying Mushroom
This is growing out of my woodpile. I'm pretty sure this is off the sweetgum tree. I'm also pretty sure it's a sort of chanterelle.
It's been there a week or so. I sure wish I knew. It looks tasty, even now. But of course I'm not that big a fool, to eat it knowing nothing.
Links
http://www.nextdaypets.com/
http://www.puppyfind.com/view_listing/?list_id=58nl4j519c&sid=6bfafc8b0353ba1043f523afbd8167e3&back=%2Ffor_sale%2F%3Fbreed_id%3D20%26country%3D%26state%3D%26page%3D1%26order_by%3Drand%26back%3D%252Fbreed%252F%253Fbreed_id%253D20%2526back%253D
Similar from the region:
http://www.news-leader.com/assets/pdf/DO143030922.PDF
http://www.news-leader.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=2009909230408
Wednesday, July 4, 2007
Tom Paine said:
Saturday, June 2, 2007
All Our Broken Hearts
Monday, May 28, 2007
The Gift
On the way back, I noticed one thing slightly spoiling the perfection of the scene, in addition to my own footprints. A spot of trash, no doubt left by careless park-goers. I would pick it up. As I neared it, I saw it was a bag with what looked to be the remains of a six-pack in it. Nearing, I saw some bottle caps still on. Then I saw all the bottlecaps were on! I reached down, exposed it, and saw it was Lowenbrau, my favorite brand! Pristine, chilled in snow! It was like divine providence! A great omen!
So I picked it up and noticed a receipt in the bag, and wanting to solve this mystery, I looked closer. Not a receipt - a handwritten note. And it said, "Merry Christmas, Jumper." Unsigned. And for one brief moment I thought God had sent me a message.
It took a while and two incidents to get it all straight. A week later my friend called and asked if I had gotten my Christmas present. He explained he had dropped it at my door when I was gone.
About two months later I found a note on my door. "Come get your dog at the pound. Call this number. Signed, the Dog Police." My dog Lucky! So I called. The man said he had discovered Lucky shacked up in the woods with a female German Shepherd and their brood of puppies, and they had attacked the landscaping crew, defending the pups. All this a complete surprise to me.
The last piece of the puzzle. And it also solved my question about why Lucky had been pushing his food bowl down the stairs all the time. He was actually trying to carry his food to his secret family in the woods. And he had been carrying all sorts of likely presents to them as well. Such as a six-pack from my front doorstep he undoubtedly planned to open when he got there.
Lucky was trying to be a good father. The result was that his family was jailed, I had to bail him out and leave them to their fate, and not only that, I couldn't afford to get him out of the calaboose unless I agreed to have him neutrified. Which they did.
+50 Million since 1990...
First, those who say we are a nation of immigrants are correct, obviously. I see a difference in today's world, however, in that it's understood that resources are not unlimited. This is different from the past, I believe. Population growth may kill this planet. Advanced societies have seen this, and I cannot include the US varied populace of scientifically illiterate know-nothings in this group. Nevertheless, in combination with various social changes including the consumer culture's drive to put, more than in the past, women in the job market; and birth-control and delayed childbirth, the US essentially stopped population growth in our country, except for immigration. Without the draconian measures the Chinese implemented.
This is something good. Unless curtailed, population growth WILL destroy the entire ecosystem of the earth, and I would pre-emptively request you not disparage this fact.
I do not want an increase in the population of the USA. I do not want a population of 350 million here. I do not want McMansions built with subsidized / deliberate underpaid labor here. These huge expansions in the building business, and make no mistake, no energy efficiency is seriously attempted in these huge ego structures, are a liability and will cause more pollution here than ever. I don't want that crap in Mexico, either.
Having said that, and understanding that there are simply no jobs in Mexico as rewarding as those in the US, what should my position be?
Mexico has been a poor country since I was born in the '50s, and it's poor today. I ask myself, "What policies has the US taken, if any, that have contributed to this?" I believe US action, and inaction, HAVE contributed. It's a disgrace for us to not have been helping our neighbor, and the disgrace continues today. Why has not the wealth of Mexico's rich trickled down to the populace? Why has there never been a huge push towards a not merely good, but a superior public education system made in Mexico?
More to the point, what has the US done to help Mexico to avoid ruining Mexico's land and environment; and what has the US done to help Mexico see the value of population control? What have we done to help?
Nothing much. Some.
I get the impression from some that they feel the following things are simply impossible in Mexico: Widespread education and adoption of ecological awareness by large amounts of people. Investment in good well-paying jobs.Less corruption, better healthcare, decent houses, cleaner water. Hope for a sustainable future.
If they don't believe that's possible there, why should I think they hope that's possible here?
In conclusion, what do I think should be done? I don't want to cause cruelty or hardship, that's for sure. I don't have any problems with Hispanic culture. I am uncomfortable with wages being kept low. I'm very uncomfortable with Mexicans being used in jobs where hazardous conditions are present. Make no mistake; these guys out there breathing the dust from sawing concrete blocks and bricks, and sheetrock dust, all will pay a horrible price one day. I don't like to see that. Or get exposed to concentrated pesticides, either.
I don't know if I've made any case at all on what changes if any should be made with US policy on illegal immigration. I simply don't know. But those are my concerns. Regarding the current status of illegal immigrants living and working in theUS, I believe the concept of amnesty might be well applied in the followingsense:
"Amnesty" often implies that those offered amnesty give up something in return. I propose that these hard working folks be given this opportunity: if you are willing to be thumbprinted, and registered, get a passport, and then give up all information you have regarding those who supplied you with your counterfeit documents, and give up all information regarding the immigrant-smugglers or"coyotes" who may have arranged for your transport into the US, then certainly a deal can be reached to expedite your green card.
And then enforce exactly those terms. This would have multiple advantages. The document counterfeiters and coyotes should be sent to prison ensuring that further entry is hampered, and illegals would lose their anonymity and go mainstream, while being thoroughly identified and noted as having helped law enforcement as well. 4/10/06
Wild Thing
He was shy, but I coaxed him out of the woods with some dogfood and he and I agreed that he would live with me thereafter. Life was good.
You wonder how a wild dog survives. Twice he showed me some remarkable food-acquiring skills.
One late summer day I was sitting quietly on my back stairs, sipping a beer. Lucky was loafing in the grassy area of our dirt driveway circle. Not really paying attention at first, I saw him get up and start snuffling the ground with his nose like some kind of crazy roothog. Trying to plow up some turf with his nose. Crazy dog, I mused. Lucky lay back down and became motionless again. About two minutes went by. A robin alit near him and started hopping near where Lucky had apparently stirred up some bugs with his nose. Dinner for robin.
So robin, picking at bugs, hops a bit closer to Lucky, and Lucky smoothly puts out his paw and pins robin to the ground. Dinner for Lucky.
I barely believed my eyes. "Holy S-word!" I shouted. Lucky looked up, thinking I was scolding him, removed his paw from robin, and robin flew away, no doubt shaken. "Sorry, Lucky," I called to him. He looked at me accusingly.
One other time I saw Lucky get a free meal from the wild in a way that shocked me. Walking the perimeter of the property in late spring, I noticed a fledgling baby bird just out of the nest, swaying unsteadily on a branch about seven feet off the ground. Lucky noticed him, too. As I walked away from that area, Lucky began a hard charge towards that bird, right in front of it, locking eyes on that birdie as he leaped high, right towards the bird! And I knew that Lucky was not going to make a seven-foot leap, and I think Lucky knew, too. But the bird was so frightened he fell off the limb! And Lucky got a snack.
Monday, April 30, 2007
Barbecue - The Real Story
Saturday, April 28, 2007
Saving Trees with Near-Fatal Damage
After the new yard guy nearly killed yet another two dogwood trees, I wanted to document what to do about it.
A few years ago I decided to grow dogwood trees from seeds. My research informed me that the seeds are inside the red berries dogwood trees get in the fall. I gathered and naturally dried them to make sure the seeds fully formed, and a month later soaked them and peeled off the dried flesh, revealing seeds looking much like little tiny walnuts. I again naturally dried them on a shelf.
In December I put them all in a ziplock bag along with a fully moistened but not dripping paper towel folded up, and resealed the first bag inside another just to ensure they would not dry out. Into the refrigerator they went. This mimicked their normal cold months outside in damp soil.
Around March I took them out of the bags, and gave them a quick whirl in the food processor. I was afraid I would grind them all up, but the information I had said it would only weaken the shells and help them sprout. The advice was good; they didn't grind up at all. I planted them all, and in a month or so had 55 baby dogwood trees.
I started planting them, mostly in my neighbors' yards after getting enthusiastic permission. And a lot of them have died. I have finally realized that their bark is quite tender, and various weed whackers, wielded by these neighbors, had killed them by stripping all the bark off all around the base of each.
One day I was on a construction site where new landscaping was going in, and some established 15-foot crape myrtles were going to be taken out. I asked for one, and the bulldozer operator dug one mostly out, and then yanked it the rest of the way up with a canvas strap tied around the base and attached to his dozer blade. When he yanked, all the bark at the base stripped loose, like a shirtsleeve torn in two at the elbow. It was the time of spring when the sap was still running in the cambium, which is the living layer of bark which transports water, nutrients, and life itself from the root to the branches and leaves. And I knew the completely torn cambium would cause the sure death of the tree. Not wanting to seem ungrateful, and aware that even if it died, the rootball would send forth vigorous new growth, I went on and loaded it on my truck, and headed for home. Transporting a 15-foot tree in a small truck is quite an adventure, by the way.
I went ahead and planted it. Then I got on the internet, searching for "tree wounds" and "damaged bark" and wasn't having much luck, but I stumbled onto a site explaining how to graft, and it mentioned using grafting wax. Aha!
I wound some sterile gauze around the torn "sleeve" of bark, coaxing the torn part back as close as I could get it to reuniting the top to the bottom of the bark. Then, having some beeswax on hand from another project, I melted it and slathered it all over the gauze, making sure to extend it onto undamaged bark all the way around above and below the bandage. I wanted it water tight where no air drying could get to the wound. I used beeswax for its reputed antibacterial properties.
As you can see, (below) the crape myrtle is fine. When I finally unwrapped the bandage (a bit prematurely, actually: in the autumn of that year. I should have waited; although essentially all was well) I saw that the cambium had grown like crazy under the bandage. It had rejoined the top and bottom of the torn area and reestablished a lifegiving bridge over the torn area!
So I have done the same with three baby dogwoods.
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
That You Do So Well
Let me live 'neath your spell,
- Cole Porter
Once upon a time I had a little Mexican Day of the Dead figure, purchased at a folk art resale store; a little skeleton figure carved of wood who represented Death. I had the bright idea of initiating a little ritual in which I stuck nails into the little figure every Saturday night, midnight, which technically is neither Saturday or Sunday.
I wanted to kill Death.
At midnight Saturday, (or is it Sunday?), with a scream and a curse, in the candlelit gloom of my shrine, I wield my sledgehammer, smashing the nail into Death's chest and splitting the nasty little figurine right through its center, knocking off its limbs in the process and dislodging a knot from its painted skeleton head, and that's when my heart explodes and it feels like God's personal lightning bolt has just gone through my chest, and I fall forwards, and as my mind's eye goes dark under the light of the still burning candles the last thing I see in front of me on the carpet is the little mannequin Death, and his painted-on teeth, and its smile was neither threatening nor amused.
Saturday, April 14, 2007
3 Wheeled Cars
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Native American Draft Animals
http://www.snopes.com/photos/animals/workmoose.asp
Why was I intrigued?
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
Ships with Tattooed Sails
Update: The red/ blue (or red / green) 3-D system will probably not be revived, and some form of the newer polarized lens technology, or something not yet developed fully, such as holograms for the masses, will probably be used for general 3-D use. As for tattoos, the "magic eye" type, used in the '80s for the posters that had people squinting (no help) and crossing their eyes (the key), would make awesome tattoos. Artist H.R. Giger experimented with this 3-D effect with good success.
The Trap
So I guess I know what I'm in for with this blog.
The Punchline
Links
Boodlers
http://blog.washingtonpost.com/mighty-appetite/ A Mighty Appetite -- Kim O'Donnel
http://blog.washingtonpost.com/achenblog/ Achenblog
http://www.mortiifera.com/?m Den of Darkness-boodleblogs
http://web.mac.com/dooleyclan/Site_ /Blog/Blog.html Dooley's Vertebrate Paleontology Lab
http://dowdreport.blogspot.com/ Dowd Report-yello
http://livebythefoma.blogspot.com/ Foma yello
http://jumpersbloghouse.blogspot.com/ Jumper's Journal
http://loftyideal.blogspot.com/ Lofty Ideal, frostbitten
http://www.mintd.com/stores/show/ -Wee-Folk-Outfitters Martooni's Doors
http://neinuclearnotes.blogspot.com/ NEI Nuclear Notes
http://mysite.verizon.net/vze fvj/BoodleArchive.htm Quick Links to All Achenblog
http://readthinklive.blogspot.com/ Read - Think - Live-kb's
http://www.weefolkoutfitters.com/
http://wilbrodog.blogspot.com/ Wilbrodog's Dog House
Amusements
http://www.answers.com/topic/chess-variant chess variant Information from Answers.com
http://www.cockeyed.com/ Cockeyed
http://voices.washingtonpost.com/comic-riffs/ Comic Riffs by Michael Cavna
http://charlotte.creativeloafing.com/gyrobase/index Creative Loafing Charlotte Home
http://www.dataisnature.com/ dataisnature.com
http://www.ugo.com/channels/comics/heromachine/classic.asp Hero Machine - Create Your Hero
http://www.tubedaze.com/ Hey, Shipwreck
http://www.pandora.com/ Pandora Radio
http://www.sesow.com/ Sesow paintings Official web page of Matt Sesow
http://www.sinfest.net/ Sinfest
http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a _ .html Straight Dope
http://joshreads.com/ The Comics Curmudgeon
http://www.gailgastfield.com/innocence/soi.html The Wm. Blake Page - The Songs of Innocence
http://dir.salon.com/topics/tom_tomorrow/index.html Tom Tomorrow - Salon.com
http://www.weirdcharlotte.com/ Weird Charlotte
http://www.youtube.com/ YouTube
Computing
http://blogger-tricks.blogspot.com/ / /add-visitor-counter-blog-hit.html Blogger Tips and Tricks
http://www.silcom.com/~barnowl/ Chain letters-Daniel W. VanArsdale
http://www.download.com/ Download.com
http://voices.washingtonpost.com/fasterforward/ Faster Forward
http://www.cstr.ed.ac.uk/projects/festival/ Festival(speech project)
http://www.google.com/trends Google Trends
http://thepiratebay.org/ Pirate Bay
http://blogging.nitecruzr.net/ The Real Blogger Status
Courses, Lectures
http://www.vcampus.com/cciivv/icc/catalog/offering/?coid Course Offering Details
http://ocw.mit.edu/OcwWeb/web/home/home/index.htm Free Online Course Materials MIT
http://lecturefox.com/ free university lectures - computer science, mathematics, physics, chemistry
http://www.binghamton.edu/history/resources/bjoh/article .htm History Department at Binghamton
University
http://ocw.mit.edu/OcwWeb/Physics/ - Physics-IFall /VideoLectures/detail/Video-Segment-Index-for-L- .htm
MIT OpenCourseWare Physics . Physics I Classical Mechanics, Fall Video Lectures detail
Dictionaries
http://www.wordreference.com/es/en/translation.asp?spen emplace Diccionario Ingles-Español
http://www.m-w.com/ Merriam-Webster Online
http://www.netlingo.com/ NetLingo The Internet Dictionary
http://english american.com/index.html#index The English-to-American Dictionary
http://www.urbandictionary.com/ Urban Dictionary, September Song Binging
Politics
http://bucknakedpolitics.typepad.com/ Buck Naked Politics
http://www.mslaw.edu/MSLMedia/LTV/ . .pdf bushtorture
http://www.jerrypournelle.com/mail/currentmail.html Chaos Manor Mail page
https://www.cia.gov/cia/publications/factbook/reference_maps/pdf/political_world.pdf
CIA-map-world.pdf
http://www.cjr.org/ Columbia Journalism Review
http://www.cooperativeresearch.org/timeline.jsp?timeline complete_ _timeline&startpos #a skilling
Complete Timeline
http://davidbrin.blogspot.com/ Contrary Brin
http://daggatt.blogspot.com/ daggatt blog
http://journal.davidbyrne.com/ David Byrne Journal
http://www.edge.org/ Edge
http://www.electoral-vote.com/index.html electoral-vote.com
http://opeding.blogspot.com/ End Of the World Cafe-Ro's blog
http://www.harvardlawreview.org/ Harvard Law Review
http://www.ntia.doc.gov/osmhome/allochrt.pdf http--www.ntia.doc.gov-osmhome-allochrt.pdf
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/ Huffington Post
http://kfmonkey.blogspot.com/ / /l t-justice.html Kung Fu Monkey L T Justice
http://www.findlaw.com/ FindLaw
http://www.miamiherald.com/leonard_pitts/ Leonard Pitts Jr. - MiamiHerald.com
http://marynewsom.blogspot.com/ Naked City
http://www.newyorker.com/ New Yorker
http://www.markcrispinmiller.blogspot.com/ News From Underground-CrispinMiller
http://krugman.blogs.nytimes.com/ Paul Krugman - Op-Ed Columnist - New York Times Blog
http://poorgeorgesalmanac.com/ Poor George’s Almanac
http://robertreich.blogspot.com/ Robert Reich's Blog
http://www.scotusblog.com/wp/ SCOTUSblog
http://www.sentientdevelopments.com/ Sentient Developments
http://shakespearessister.blogspot.com/ Shakesville
http://www.talkingpointsmemo.com/ Talking Points Memo
Science & Math
http://www.americanscientist.org/template/CurrentIssue American Scientist Online
http://benmuse.typepad.com/arctic_economics/ Arctic Economics
http://blog.wired.com/sterling/ Beyond the Beyond - Wired Blogs
http://twistedphysics.typepad.com/cocktail_party_physics/ Cocktail Party Physics
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Retinex Color constancy - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
http://www.damninteresting.com/ Damn Interesting
http://discovermagazine.com/ Discover Magazine
http://www.geo va.vt.edu/A /A .htm Earth heat pumps Seasonal Temperature Cycles
http://www.ma.huji.ac.il/~library/classm.htm Math & CS library-Math Classification
http://www.nasa.gov/home/index.html NASA - Home
http://www.nature.com/index.html Nature - science journal
http://www.pepysdiary.com/ Pepys' Diary
http://scienceblogs.com/pharyngula/ Pharyngula
http://ronsprimitiveskills.blogspot.com/ Ron's Primitive Skills
http://www.sciencedaily.com/ Science Daily
http://www.sciencenews.org/ Science News
http://www.sciam.com/section.cfm?id news Scientific American News
http://www.lsbu.ac.uk/water/anmlies.html Sixty-three anomalies of water
http://www.springerlink.com/ SpringerLink - Journal Article
http://geometrygames.org/ Topology and Geometry
http://www.uky.edu/AS/Geology/webdogs/plates/pangaea- .html webdogs plate reconstructions
/
Weather
http://radar.weather.gov/ridge/Conus/full_loop.php aa weather
http://www.ssd.noaa.gov/goes/east/gmex/loop-avn.html Gulf of Mexico Satellite radar
http://www.intellicast.com/storm/hurricane/caribbeansatellite.aspx?animate true Intellicast -
Caribbean Satellite Loop in United States
http://www.intellicast.com/Storm urricane/PacificSatellite.aspx?animate true Intellicast - Pacific
Satellite Loop in United States
http://www.wunderground.com/satellite/vis/ k/US.html Local Satellite Weather Underground
http://www.cnn.com/WEATHER/NAmerica/sat.anim.html North America Weather
http://www.ssd.noaa.gov/goes/east/natl/loop-avn.html North Atlantic AVN Color Imagery -
Satellite Services Division
http://wxweb.meteostar.com/cgi-bin/satellite/noaaport_loop.cgi?/var/www/leads_images/satellite/SYS/IR/
Satellite & infrared NAmerica Loop
/
Wikis and Open Source
http://en.wikibooks.org/wiki/Main_Page AA - Wikibooks textbooks
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Main_Page AA Wikipedia
http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/Main_Page AA Wiktionary
http://wikimediafoundation.org/wiki/Our_projects AAOur projects - Wikimedia Foundation
http://www.archive.org/details/prelinger Internet Archive Prelinger Archives
http://gutenberg.net.au/ Project Gutenberg Australia
http://www.gutenberg.org/wiki/Main_Page Project Gutenburg
http://www.snopes.com/ Snopes- Urban Legends Reference Pages
http://www.cuil.com/ AA search engine Cuil
http://www.blackboxvoting.org/ Black Box Voting - Welcome to www.BlackBoxVoting.org,
http://boyle .sitewizard.biz/home.html Boyle Consulting Engineers
http://www.charlotteobserver.com/ Charlotte Observer.com
http://www.charmeck.org/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki aiku Haiku - Wikipedia
http://www.ahapoetry.com/haiku.htm Haiku
http://www.kluttspropertymanagement.com/ Klutts Property Management
http://www.tencate.com/smartsite.dws?id Mirifi-TenCate - Geosynthetics
http://maps .co.mecklenburg.nc.us/website/realestate/viewer.htm POLARIS
http://www.sencera.com/careers.html Sencera - Thin-Film Photovoltaic Solar Cell Technology
http://www.sinfest.net/archive_page.php?comicID Sinfestbookmark
http://www.namebase.org/
http://www.geogrid.com/products_sg.html StrataGRID-Strata Systems INC
http://www.archive.org/details/ThePowerOfNightmares The Power of Nightmares
http://streebgreebling.blogspot.com/ The Streeb-Greebling Diaries Legends in AI Chris McKinstry