Saturday, June 1, 2013


On the Seinfeld television show a few years ago, perpetual failure George tried to get everyone at work to call him "T-Bone." It backfired, insofar as not only did they start calling another man "T-Bone," they gave George a new name he did not want at all: "Koko."

So I laughed and enjoyed the show, and a few years passed, and I started thinking, and I realized what George had done wrong.

I decided to test my new-found theory in the obvious way: I would see if I could get the guys at work to call me "T-Bone."

First I enlisted a friend, and we performed the pre-planned action only twice. The first time, we walked by my supervisor's office and my confederate said something like "So how was your weekend, T-Bone?" and I snapped "Don't call me T-Bone!" The next day we duplicated this scene in another area of the building, in front of another guy.

 That's all it took. Within two days, I was T-Bone. I pulled the fake-angry thing maybe once more just to set it in cement. After a week or so of being T-Bone, I ended it. I simply told all concerned that they had been unwitting parts of a scientific experiment. This sufficed to nip the whole thing in the bud.

I could have left things as they were, but I guess, unlike the TV character, I didn't really care to be named "T-Bone" at all..