Saturday, November 29, 2014

Tartar Sauce

It has come to my attention that the composition of the ideal Tartar sauce recipe is not widely known. I will attempt to remedy this.
The ideal Tartar sauce recipe has many ingredients, and so it's not for the lazy or unprepared cook. Its benefit is that it's delicious. Let's list the ingredients:
Mayonnaise, chopped pickle, minced onion or onion powder, minced garlic or garlic powder, mustard, horseradish, lemon juice, salt, black pepper, Worcestershire sauce, and Tabasco sauce.

The skilled cook will need only this list, the proportions will be intuitive with some adjustments to one's predilection. For the inexperienced, I can only offer some easy to find recipes found on the internet, and begin adding any ingredients listed above, with these caveats:

Go easy on the mustard. If you plan to make one cup of Tartar sauce (too much, usually, for a small group - a half cup should serve 4 easily) but for one cup, two heaping teaspoons of dark mustard preparation is sufficient, or one teaspoon of dry mustard powder. Garlic: go easy, one fat clove for this cupful. Worcestershire: one teaspoon. Juice of one fat lemon. One teaspoon of Tabasco sauce. It is important to use Tabasco because it is infused with the flavor of the oak barrels it is aged in. Black pepper: a teaspoon. Horseradish: I like a lot; a rounded tablespoon of pure mashed horseradish. Pickle, one small to medium pickle chopped: 3" long, 1" thick would be about right; perhaps more. Onion: half a small onion (2") chopped.

Friday, November 7, 2014


Let us pray.
Dear Heavenly Pooch,
Please stop the plague infecting people's minds such that they think and write and opinionate in memes which seem wholly drawn from tawdry breathless headline writers who staff the tabloids and TV.
And though we forgive them for their trespasses, let us not adopt their evil.
Help us to stop saying things such as "attack," "cry out," "kills," "targeted," when we mean criticize, complain, ignores, and scrutinized.
Help us not fall into the pit of idiot vipers where people say things like "China thinks" thus and so, and "Russia wishes," and "IBM feels that...."