Friday, January 25, 2008

Gold




As you are aware, the Bermuda Triangle is reported to be a repository of lost gold, but is not reported to be a repository of the product of the Golden Triangle, i.e., opium. This is a misconception. The Sea of Sargasso is a floating gentle whirlpool /vortex of fresh and decaying seaweed floating in the mid-Atlantic, whose position varies somewhat depending on (or more precisely, relating to) the position of Sirius, the Dog Star. Spanish pirates, entangled by the gnarly strands, often found themselves in the position whereby the ship's Priest stood on the larboard bow and scattered opium into the Atlantic, the poppy straw scattering to the four winds in the Sargasso Sea. Thus to summon Yeshue, their idol.


In any case, decomposition in the Sargasso Sea is known to occur by whirling away its detritus slowly, and so the opium-laden seaweed slowly found its way to the Viking outposts in Newfoundland. Leif Ericcson had driven out and infected with syphilis the last white people he could rip off, the so-called Albans. They had been run out of Scotland and the Shetland Islands, by Celtic refugees, had dark hair, lived in boats made of walrus skins, and hunted seals; and had fled Viking oppression for centuries. Leif, being a pre-Christian mushroom-head, encouraged savage levels of rapacity in his minions towards the European refugees. Of course, the neoSiberian transplants (the so-called Eskimos and Indians) were messing with Leif and his followers to an extent unrecorded. They didn't like the smell of the Norsemen. But they got on with the Albans just fine.


But enough of that. Some of the sailors from the Shetland Islands had ponies. They also knew hemp. Those ponies need strong reins, and the hemp people knew how to deal with it. Anyway, the people on Newfoundland got the opiumated seaweed, the hemp, and the Norse Berserker amanita mushrooms, all at once. The evil oriental geniuses from the Golden Triangle just sneered. There were no evil geniuses left in the Bermuda Triangle, they had all sunk. The experts about the Golden Ratio, a mathematical concept, were far away in Europe. The experts about the Golden Calf were either living openly in Siberia or VERY clandestinely in the midst of Eurasia after a thousand years of oppression. Except in Spain.

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