Friday, December 4, 2009


Every so often I hear some smug holier-than-thou type telling me it's unnatural to drink milk. I drink milk, and they don't: ergo, they are superior beings.

Without fail I notice these people eat cheese. Which, I must point out, is one step further removed from "natural." Not only are they harvesting hetero-species-ical milk, they are curdling and aging it and allowing bacteria and mold grow in it. So how natural is that, Mr. and Ms. Natural?

Granted, I'm not happy with the growth hormones and such in modern milk. And I even sympathize with vegans. Still, that's not what these kooks are talking about.

Plus, they act like they are somehow "grown up" which is why they eschew milk. You and I both know these people wouldn't drink milk even when they were kids, causing their mothers' to worry about their diets and give them Bosco and Ovaltine and stuff normal kids never had to learn about. Which worries were justified, because now that they are all grown up they live on diets mostly of coffee, booze, chocolate, cigarettes, soda pop and pizza. Grown up food. You know, the natural way of doing things.

I hope their hips don't shatter. Must be tough eating that required half-pound of collard greens per day to get the calcium. What with their preferred diet. Oh, wait, that's right: they eat the cheese. Lots and lots of cheese.

Here is a being acting naturally. I'm not so sure about this or this, but live and let live: that's my motto.


Yoki said...

As a devoted drinker of milk, this made me laugh. But it is a bit mean to post it Boodle-side where dlb can see it...

TBG said...

I love milk and drink at least a glass of it every day. When I was a kid we all drank so much milk and guzzled it down so fast my mom would tell us not to "clook" our milk. You know, that sound you make when you're gulping it down so fast.

Blogger said...

New Diet Taps into Innovative Concept to Help Dieters Get Rid Of 23 Pounds in Just 21 Days!